What do I do.
There’s damn near nothing I can do.
All the things happening are based on my attitude.
You’re still breathing.
Not everyone gets the chance to do that.
So today I decided to act upon my wonders and be straight forward. I’m known for having a loud mouth, so why not take it to my advantage and explain my curiosities? Right now it’s going pretty well; I’m going to start doing it more often only when it comes to questions, not suggestions. It’s saving me a lot of time. I recently got in touch with my ex, and he’s been going back to his old ways, such as texting me on the regular and complimenting me, he even told me he loved me. On our first day of talking, he made it seem as though he was trying to get back together, so I poured my heart out to him, and he said he felt the exact same way. Now, he says he just wants to be friends when I asked him if that’s the only reason he wanted to reconnect. It’s shameful that he didn’t say anything sooner about that, because my feelings were everywhere for him. Also, about a friend, she is very close to me and she’s having troubles with a boy she’s talking to, but she doesn’t want to seem as if she’s trying too hard. I started being really forward and told her what’s on my mind and suggested a few things to help her out. I try not to hurt feelings, I just want to save my own.
I feel fairly empty. The people I want to talk to, don’t really want to talk to me, and the people I don’t really want to talk to, talk to me. I’m not saying I’m not grateful for the people in my life I associate with everyday, it’s just that I wish I had my people of choice to join me as well. Without the people I associate with already, I know I’d be very alone, but if I had the people I wanted in my life, I’d be very happy.